Ignore the Signs If You Want To, Part 2

Yes, Leo was engaged to be married! My heart shattered into a million pieces.  I held on to the painful secret for 3 more days as I walked around with a bleeding heart. He didn’t have any idea that I knew.  We didn’t live in the same city and at that point it was really good that we didn’t!  I finally confronted Leo with the help of a third party since he lied to me and told me his phone wasn’t working properly.  One never knows when his or her lie will catch up with them. Leo’s lie caught up with him while he was in the car with his soon to be new wife.  Three lives were changed in a matter of minutes.

Later that evening, I spoke with her and we compared timelines.  He lied to the both of us, except she had a bigger decision to make because she was marrying him in two weeks.  After I got off the phone, I cried like a baby. The rejection pierced my heart so strongly and now, I was left to pick up all the pieces by myself.  I prayed two things “Lord, don’t let my heart grow bitter towards men because of him” and “God, help me become a better me so I never end up in this situation again.”  One might be asking “Okay, did she not have any signs? How could she have not known?”  Keep reading dear one.

I am a FIRM believer that God will let you know whether or not to continue dealing with a person after the very first date. My first warning sign was this:  the fruit of His lips did not match up with the fruit of my spirit.  What God was teaching me and how I’d come to live my life in the Lord did not completely line up with his conversation.  I remember riding in the car on our first date and the Holy Spirit said “Uh uh, you better check that.”  I ignored it because I was caught up in the moment!

Another instance of this was when we were playing a game that I made up for him.  I love having fun and wanted to do something creative.  Now, Leo was ALWAYS talking about what the bible says—which was a cover up of for what he actually DID NOT know, as I later learned.  I asked basic bible questions that a man of his “caliber” should know.  Y’all he didn’t know the answers!  This was important to me because I was considering this man for marriage and he would be the head of my home.  I cannot have someone leading my family who doesn’t know where HE’S going or how to get there.

The next warning sign was the fruit of his lips did not match up with his material fruit.  He talked a good game about having a LOT of material things and having money but there was no evidence of it anywhere.  Now, I am not telling you to be materialistic or anything of that nature but people who have it don’t brag about it.  It was another lie. Leo had a lying spirit.  This lying spirit was ruling and reigning in his life and infiltrated every area.  He was not being lead of the Lord and his actions and speech said so. 

Everything I’ve said above happened in three months.  However, it took me a year to let it go because I was too insecure to let HIM go.  He was appealing to my FLESH because he did NOTHING for my spirit. Ladies, if a man is overwhelmingly appealing to your FLESH, hear me and hear me well—LET HIM GO! The flesh profits nothing!!! 

I have not been in another relationship since then.  I had some hiccups along the way however, because I was still operating out of a place of brokenness and emptiness.  Once I accepted God as my HEALER, I’ve never had that problem again. I am no longer scared or ashamed of walking away from a man if the fruit is not lining up. I am learning to be a fruit inspector and for me, I walk in a serious spirit of discernment so as soon as a man opens his mouth, I know what I’m dealing with.  God does not want his baby girls to end up with men who will spiritually suffocate us.  Sure, we have the choice but He won’t let you make an uninformed decision.

I no longer settle for less than God’s best. I’m too valuable for that and settling has a cost that I’m just not willing to pay.