Reading the book of Esther has taught
me a lot about separation, preparation and assignment. As I surveyed her life,
some very particular points stood out to me because I noticed God doing the
same things to me in my own life. For the next four blog posts, I'm going to point out those very important things that transformed me into becoming a woman of God, rooted and grounded in His word.
Proverbs 22:1 NKJV says "A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold." After the end of a very bad and abusive marriage, I was an extremely broken woman. My heart was broken, my spirit was broken and my life was a mess. I sought solace and peace through the arms and beds of men, most of whom I barely knew. I was with a controlling man in my marriage so when I finally got free, I rebelled against any type of relationship or anything that seemed like it was controlling me. I was determined to get my strength back and not let anyone run me ever again. I started meeting guys online and I had very little standards for myself because my marriage left me feeling really low, lower than I felt before I got married. My only purpose for meeting so many guys was that I just wanted to feel better. I wanted to stop hurting. I created online profiles, one of which was "no_string92". The screen name implied just that--I wanted to be with a man and give him whatever he wanted with no strings attached regardless of the cost to me mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.You can imagine the plethora of messages I got with that profile name! I thought I had hit pay dirt! But, if all those men got together and talked I'm sure the image and reputation of that screen name would not be one of virtue and chastity. I lied down with each man, loaded with garbage in my spirit and got up with more holes and more garbage in my spirit. I had no idea of the mess I was reaping into my life. Like I heard someone once say to me, people will always try to paint your name dirty, just don't supply them the paint. Friends, I was supplying plenty of paint because my name was now tainted and dirty.
In Esther chapter 2, it speaks of the favor she had with the king. Esther's name in Hebrew was Hadassah meaning "a myrtle tree." She was given the name Esther, which is Persian for "star". Her name meant something! Her reputation meant something! She was a virgin when she was summoned to the king's palace. Her total package was what got her noticed by the king and Hegai, the custodian of the women. Names in the bible mean something. Abraham's name was Abram before it was changed but his name was changed by God to line up with what God said he'd be--a father of many nations. (Genesis 17) My name means "palm tree" in Hebrew. The root of my name, Tam, means "to stand tall." I thought about that meaning for some time and realized that you almost always see palm trees in beautiful places, most of them warm and tropical. Outside of the literal meaning of my name, when people hear my name I want them to instantly think of a woman of integrity, character and holiness in ALL areas of my life. (SN--Our credit reports are files attached to our names! Yes, I'm getting that in order too...ALL areas). I want my name to represent that of joy, peace, love and faithfulness. Jesus' name has power! So yes, names are important. I've since retired that screen name and will not ever resurrect it again.
Do you know what people say about your name? Now, your name may not have a literal meaning like others but when people hear your name, what do they immediately think? What do you WANT people to think when they hear it? Some of you have old nicknames and email ids that you need to get rid of. I do not allow anyone to call me anything other than my name. I am not "sexy this" or "sexy that." NOPE! According to Proverbs 31:30, I AM a virtuous woman of God, who fears the Lord and I will be praised.
Suggested Reading:
The Book of Esther
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