Posts

Merry Christmas

December is here and in my life, it’s been the month God has shown Himself strong on my behalf. Let me boast on the Lord for a minute: December 2006 - brand new luxury debt free vehicle December 2010 - new house December 2012 - surprise day of beauty sponsored by a group of ladies December 2015 - won a corporate global award at my job December 2017 - the man who’d become my husband let it be known he was pursuing me to marry me While God is not bound by time, the manifestations of His goodness are evidence to never count Him in ANY calendar year. Especially in 2020. I’ve seen comments about people being ready to hurry up and get to 2021.  We still have twenty-four more days for God’s glory to shine! Think about it: you’ve made it this far into a year that has had our heads turning and spinning very which way. That’s praiseworthy alone! Hallelujah! Proverbs 17:22 says “A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones.” When we’ve had a tough year, it migh...
1 comment
Read more

Merry Christmas

December is here and in my life, it’s been the month God has shown Himself strong on my behalf. Let me boast on the Lord for a minute: December 2006 - brand new luxury debt free vehicle December 2010 - new house December 2012 - surprise day of beauty sponsored by a group of ladies December 2015 - won a corporate global award at my job December 2017 - the man who’d become my husband let it be known he was pursuing me to marry me While God is not bound by time, the manifestations of His goodness are evidence to never count Him in ANY calendar year. Especially in 2020. I’ve seen comments about people being ready to hurry up and get to 2021.  We still have twenty-four more days for God’s glory to shine! Think about it: you’ve made it this far into a year that has had our heads turning and spinning very which way. That’s praiseworthy alone! Hallelujah! Proverbs 17:22 says “A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones.” When we’ve had a tough year, it migh...
1 comment
Read more

Death of Expectations

"I doooooo!”   September 8, 2018, was indeed a day of new beginnings.   Christopher and I excitedly stood at the altar, looking each other deeply in the eyes as we said our vows.   We smiled, laughed and whispered things no one else could hear but us. “Christopher, you may now salute your bride!”   My husband beamed with joy as he pulled me into a loving embrace and kissed me.   It was our first intimate kiss, one reserved for the day we became husband and wife.   Until that day, we only hugged and kissed each other on the cheek.   “Ladies and gentlemen, it’s my honor to present to you Mr. and Mrs. Christopher DeBose, Sr.” We held hands securely, continued our infectious smiling and proceeded out of our church.   We were now two people headed into our lives as one .    Prior to marrying Christopher, I was single for two decades.   I invested valuable time preparing my heart to become a wife. I did my absolute best to rid mysel...
Post a Comment
Read more

To Be Loved

It’s been a little while since I’ve put pen to paper. Over the years, I’ve written mostly about my journey to healing and my victory over relationship failures. Today is no different. Six years ago, unbeknownst to me, God started me on a journey that has absolutely changed my life. “Tam, this is Chris. Chris, this is Tam.”   As we’re standing there being introduced by his sister-in-law, who was also the newly married bride, my mind had already shut down the possibility of anything ever happening with this gentleman. I had been through decades of hurt and my guard was on high alert. We exchanged pleasantries and I returned to my seat with the expectation that I would not see this man again. After all, I was only asked to meet him. As the wedding reception progressed, I was elated at the fact that I would soon make my exit without so much as exchanging phone numbers. I gathered my children and prepared to leave. I looked up and saw Chris coming across the room headed straight f...
2 comments
Read more

You Are More

A few months ago, I had the pleasure of attending my son's high school football game.  No, he wasn't a player on the field but he's a player in the bleachers.  He's a member of his school's marching band, living his dream!    I was overjoyed to watch him do what he enjoys doing.  As I sat in the bleachers, my eyes began to scan the crowd.  As my natural eyes uploaded information, my spiritual eyes began to process what I was seeing.  What I "saw" caused me to weep on the inside.  I was instantly reminded of my former struggle with identity and self-esteem as a high school, teenage girl.  I wanted so desperately to grab every girl I saw and hug her. But since they don't know me like that and I didn't want to up being a social media post for being a crazy woman, I decided to put my pen to paper and tell them what I wish someone had told me as a teenager: I AM MORE.  This is my letter to them: My sweet, lovely young lady you are beautiful...
Post a Comment
Read more

Early is on Time

Image
You know the rest of the saying so I don’t have to finish it.  No, this is not a “deep and wonderful" article, but still an important one.  I’ve been contemplating writing about this for quite some time and I am finally doing it. While I do not claim to be an expert on punctuality, I do have some experience in my own life and I wanted to share what I’ve learned.  You may be asking “why is she writing about being on time?”   Well, because tardiness and punctuality may be what's stopping you from being promoted on your job, in ministry or other activities you’re involved in. Daniel 6:3 speaks of Daniel having “an excellent spirit” in him.  That excellent spirit distinguished him and caused him to be promoted.   I am sure there are many facets to having an excellent spirit and I believe being on time is one of them.  I understand things happen occasionally but being habitually late is different.  Being late shows a lack of excellen...
Post a Comment
Read more

I Have a Heart Condition

Image
I recently attended our family reunion in Atlanta, Georgia. I was honored to do an inspirational reading at our family banquet.  As I read God's word, I am continually drawn to passages about the heart. Our heart is our ground and we have to make sure it's in tip top shape.  Be encouraged! Out of the good treasure of his heart a man brings forth good things Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks A heart at peace gives life to the body A merry heart makes the face cheerful For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him. I have a heart condition. No, it’s not sickness, it’s not disease.  It’s the counsel of the Lord that resides in my heart. My heart is guarded because it’s the gateway to life! Today, I ask you, what is your heart condition? What have you allowed into your heart? Bitterness, strife, envy, anger, unforgiveness, discord, fea...
1 comment
Read more

No Fear

Image
Second Timothy 1:7 NKJV says "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."  The Contemporary English Version (CEV) says "God's Spirit doesn't make cowards out of us. The Spirit gives us power, love and self-control." The world tells us "oh, a little fear is healthy." No, that's not true, especially in the Kingdom of God. Fear in any area is an entry point of the devil. He will use that fear to creep in and cause us to make decisions out of fear. He'll take that little opening and grow it so big until we are living our lives completely out of fear. Fear produces anxiety, which leads to depression. (Proverbs 12:25) .  It also produces pride and we know pride is a destroyer. I had some deeply rooted fears in the area of relationships. I was severely afraid of being rejected and abandoned because that's all I knew. That fear caused me to make some very bad choices and accept things that...
2 comments
Read more

Keep Walking

Image
One of the most valuable things I've learned in my walk with the Lord is that it is a walk.  Not a run or a sprint. A walk . When was the last time you took a walk? Have you noticed you have time to stop and admire things and even appreciate what you see? I enjoy walking and realizing my life in God is a walk, or journey, has helped me beyond measure. Amos 3:3 says “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?”  The answer is no.  Two people going in two different directions are NOT walking together. The key to our life in God is for us to be in agreement with God and to walk with Him as He leads and guides. Walking is putting one foot in front of the other - taking steps.  My walk with Him has taken me from thinking I could never be anything to knowing that I am everything in Him.  Spending time in the word of God and asking Him for understanding of His word opened my eyes to see that it’s well within His will to be a great, dynamic woman who’s ful...
Post a Comment
Read more

When My Daughter Became a Mother

The date was Wednesday, March 30th, 2016.  I sat along the edge of my bed munching on my nightcap – a Häagen-Dazs Vanilla Almond ice cream bar.  I was engulfed in tranquility being I had attended my regular bible study that evening as well.  I heard a knock on my bedroom door.  It was my daughter.  She entered my room and strongly suggested that I sit in my “Jesus chair,” the chair I sit in when I am studying the word, reading the word or praying.  Right then, I knew something serious was about to be said.  I replied “Nawwww, I think you better sit in that chair. I’ll stay right here.” With blankness in her eyes, she broke the news “Mama, I’m pregnant. “  I stared at the wall and said “This has got to be an April Fool’s joke.”  I turned to face her and tears were streaming down her face.  No, this was not an April Fool’s joke. As a mom, I always rehearse in my head how I would react if my kids told me certain things, not really knowing...
Post a Comment
Read more

Out of the Abundance of Her Heart

Earlier today, I was reading Proverbs 22 .  I got to verse 14, which says “The mouth of an immoral woman is a deep pit; He who is abhorred by the Lord will fall there.”  I then checked the cross reference scripture and it lead me to Ecclesiastes 7:26 , which says “And I find more bitter than death The woman whose heart is snares and nets, Whose hands are fetters. He who pleases God shall escape from her, But the sinner shall be trapped by her.”  I stopped and thought about how many men I’ve run across who are either married to or are dating bitter women.   It’s heart wrenching to see. I’ve seen how venom spewed from their mouths will tear down a man! Mostly when I am moved to write, it’s to encourage my sisters in their growth as women. Today, I am moved to help men who may not realize they are headed for trouble.  I do not claim to be a counselor or a therapist, but I will share what I’ve learned.  1.        Listen t...
Post a Comment
Read more

Nothing Is Impossible With God

The events of the last week brought me face to face with something that tormented me for eighteen years. For those of you who've been reading about my life know that I was bound by a soul tie. For those of you who don't know, let me give you a little history. When I was sixteen years old, I met "Adonis".  He was what the world calls "my first love."  By allowing him to be my first sexual partner, I had no idea what I was opening myself up to. We dated until I was almost twenty years old and during that time, I became extremely attached to him in ways that I later realized were a detriment to my progress as a woman. For eighteen years after the relationship ended, I was tormented mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Inside of me battles were taking place and I was continually on the losing end of them. On the outside, no one could tell, or at least I thought they couldn’t. The world often says "you'll never get over your first love." ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Confessions of a Single Woman: It Was Not Their Fault

We know how the conversation goes: "I don't have a man. Is something wrong with me?" "Girl, no. Nothing is wrong with you. You are fine just the way you are." "Thank you. I thought there was something wrong because I don't have anyone and they never seem to stick around." Then the conversation continues with pointing out all the flaws in the guys we've dated and so on. Do you mind if I make a confession? Something was wrong with me and my singleness was/is not their fault. In the world of dating, so many times we like to point out the wrongs of the people we date. I came to the realization that I had to take responsibility for my own dumb actions. Take a walk with me as I expose myself…flaws and all. Most of you all probably know that during my twenties, I was in an abusive marriage. I came out of that marriage with a very rebellious "get back at them" attitude. I sought to hurt every man that came my way because of my u...
Post a Comment
Read more

Don't Despise the Wilderness - 'Tis the Season to be Jolly

It's a nice, summer August evening. The breeze is hitting my legs and the side of my face as it flows in from the Gulf of Mexico. My thoughts linger back to the season I just left - the wilderness. It was a season where I learned how to fight, how to submit and surrender when it hurt, and how to be precisely obedient to God. Most importantly, I learned that my heart was a proving ground for God. The last three years were nothing like I've ever experienced. I am believing God for manifestation of something big, big to me. While going through this season, the Lord showed me that my heart wasn't right. It wasn't ready to receive what I am believing Him for. Assuredly I say to you, had this thing manifested prior to my wilderness, I would have made it my God, just like the children of Israel and the golden calf. ( Exodus 32:8 ) The dust has settled. The dirt is calm. That season is over and I came out a better woman, a healed woman and a delivered woman. Fr...
2 comments
Read more

Even in Death

Earlier this week I posted on FB "Death has a way of making you come face to face with your issues...then telling you to get over it." On Sunday, March 1st, my grandmother passed away. What grieved me the most was the lies I allowed the enemy to plant in my head and grow, lies that my presence was not important to my family. Belief in those lies caused me to always make excuses for why I couldn't attend family gatherings and coming up with reasons not to just stop in and say hello. Even the week before she died, I went to see her but only for a few minutes because the lie was now deeply embedded in my heart that my presence wasn't important. Friends, life is so precious. The enemy wants all of us to believe we don't matter and that people really don't love us like they say they do. Truth is, HE doesn't matter and HIS presence is never welcomed. There are people in this world who love us and enjoy our presence. The spirit of God lives in us and that autom...
Post a Comment
Read more

Confessions of a Single Woman: I Didn't Know How to Act Around a Man

Yes, you read that right! I didn't know how to act around a man...that is, a man who liked me and I liked him. Now, if I didn't like him or he didn't like me, I was cool.  But if there was a mutual "likeness" going on, I had a problem!  My emotions and feelings went into overdrive, as did my controlling, fearful side. So, I had to ask God why was I like that?  The answer was simple: I wasn't used to being treated well by a man and I didn't know how to "relate" to one either. Come again God? As He took me back over my life, my relationship encounters with men were almost always sexual.  What I didn't realize was that this pattern was training me to deal with men in three ways: sleep with them, cut them off, or wait for them to leave. Every man I ever dealt with relationship wise  fell into one of these three categories. Now, this excludes men with whom who I was genuinely friends.  But all the other ones could be placed there. When I gave...
Post a Comment
Read more

For the Love of Mrs. Rice

Dear Mrs. Rice, Today, your husband was released by his professional football team because he has been graphically exposed for domestic abuse. When the incident happened, he was your fiancee. Many are asking why you went on to marry him.  You may not have an answer, but perhaps my life can help you figure that out. I, too, was a victim of domestic violence.  Mine didn't start when I was married. It started before he ever asked me to marry him. It started as verbal abuse then escalated to mental and emotional abuse. By the time we were divorced, it had become physical on both our parts. Why did I marry him? I married him because I placed a higher value on the fear of what he would do to me verses how I felt about myself. I never thought it would happen to me. My ex-husband didn't have millions but every time each abusive episode ended, I kept thinking that maybe things would get better. I kept hoping it would change or just maybe if I stayed out of his way, he'd lea...
Post a Comment
Read more

Confessions of a Single Woman: I Wanted a Man for the Wrong Reason

In my last " Confessions " post, I spoke of meeting a guy and really believing I was ready to be married. I went on to share it didn't work out and why. God showed me that marriage would not deliver me from my issues because that’s His job. He also showed me marriage would not rescue me. Even after the Lord corrected me on all that, I still had one more reality to face. I wanted a man for the wrong reason. My reason for wanting to be with someone was birthed out of years of rejection by man after man. I wanted a man just so that I could say to people "I have someone.” I used to dream about changing my Facebook relationship status and the feeling of accomplishment that went along with it. I wanted the news to somehow filter back to my exes that this treasure of a woman was now taken. I wanted to stick it to every man that had ever done me wrong. Yes, I, Tamara, who loves God with everything in me, secretly wanted revenge. I say secretly because I would never SAY...
2 comments
Read more

Check it at the Door

Proverbs 4:23-27 MSG says Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that's where life starts. Don't talk out of both sides of your mouth; avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip. Keep your eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions. Watch your step, and the road will stretch out smooth before you. Look neither right nor left; leave evil in the dust . Walk with me for a minute…imagine your hear a ring or a knock at the door.  The person at the door is dressed very nicely and looks fairly decent. However, you wait to see what he/she wants or what he/she starts talking about. You are still on guard.  As he/she begins to speak you, they threaten you. Immediately, you close the door!  The person leaves, never to return. Friends, this is the same attitude we must have in the spirit when it comes to guarding our hearts.  When we fellowship with bitterness, gossip, angst, fear and anxiety, we are opening the door to a discombobulated life. Notice I didn’t s...
Post a Comment
Read more

Purification of a Queen Part 4: To Everything There Is a Season

Thank you for joining me for the last and final part of this series. It has been such a treat to let you in on the revelation God gave to me about this passage of scripture in the book of Esther. It has helped to shape me in so many ways. In my previous post, I talked about the importance of seeking, accepting and acting on godly wisdom. (click here for part 3) .  Today, I conclude the series by discussing submitting to God’s time and God’s process in your life. As we read the text that has been the backdrop for this series, Esther 2:5-14 , we learn that she is a part of a group of women selected to go before the king in hopes of being chosen to be the next queen. However, before she got her chance to go before him, she spent a year in preparation (verse 12) .  That time of preparation consisted of “six months with oil of myrrh and six months with perfumes and preparations for beautifying women.”  Oil of myrrh was sometimes used as an antiseptic.  Let’s take a l...
Post a Comment
Read more